Top 10 Eco-Friendly Steps and Products (to reduce guilt, and greenhouse gasses)

Help do your part this year:

1. Pee-qual: Reusable sugar made from straining your own urine, separating the particles, and mixing them in coffee and cake batter.

2. Cleaner Wieners: Pocket-sized recyclable toilet paper. Don’t waste another tree.

3. Cotton Shopping Bags: Because using paper and plastic is archaic…and makes you look homeless.

4. Anorexia: Don’t waste so much food. Plan on eating nothing.

5. Avoid Rat Traps: Rats are great for cleaning up the environment. If there’s any shit on the floor…they’ll eat it!

6. Tan: That’s right, tan. Soak up enough energy from the sun to become your own solar power source.

7. Walk: You don’t want to be a fat-ass anymore anyway, do you?

8. Petition Ohio to make them start recycling: It was obvious after the 2004 election that Ohioans are pretty stupid, and yes they don’t recycle. It’s pretty sad.

9. Protect our reefs, smoke a reefer instead: People forget about coral reefs, which provide food and medicine to humans, and also create tourism in economically challenged parts of the world. Save the fishies!

10. Think twice about the energy and garbage you’re using. Cut it in half. This is what we call an Earth Diet.

For more information go to http://www.globalissues.org/EnvIssues/ and see how you’re personally screwing up our planet. Wake up, idiot.